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And So the Story Goes…

April 1, 2014

ear_woman400Managing the stories of our inner gremlins is a topic I talk about and coach on a lot. And how one very effective way they keep us playing small is by feeding our fears & self-doubt with half-truths and [blatant] lies they make-up about us or a situation at hand.

Today however, I’m not talking about gremlin stories. (Surprise!) I’m talking about a different kind of story we experience—

The stories that OTHER people make-up about us.

They may or may not be personal—the other day, for example, I had a huge revelation that I’ve been buying into some B.S. story about my profession—but the message is pretty much the same as the stories of our gremlins:

     You’re not enough –> smart/talented/likeable/worthy/good/fill-in-the-blank

     or

     You’re too much –> old/fat/inexperienced/introverted/insignificant/fill-in-the-blank

And so is the result: We buy into these stories as truth.

It’s like the little kid whose parent tells them for 18 years they aren’t something enough—or they’re too something—and there is something fundamentally wrong with them that they need to spend the rest of their life overcoming. And the little kid does—because they took on the story their parent told them over and over again…and began to believe it.

If we reached back to childhood, I bet we could all think of a similar tale. Someone else’s story—about us—that shaped a belief we have about ourselves today. As an adult, it doesn’t stop either. We continue to experience these same crappy “about us by others” stories on a daily basis. From friends. Family. Bosses. Marketing & advertising. Maybe we’re the ones making them up about the people in our lives. (Not cool. Rethink that.)

Perhaps they are well-meaning. Perhaps they don’t realize they do it. But they’re doing it—and we allow them to get into our head.

Those are their stories though, not ours. And we don’t have to be their victim.

Stop listening to the stories that other people make-up about you.

It all comes down to choice, you see.

We can choose not to listen to, believe, or take on other people’s stories as our own. And we can choose our own Truth, and live accordingly.

What stories about you (by others) are you sick of? Rant in the comments below.

As for me? Right now I’m so over the stories people make up about life coaches & “heart-based” entrepreneurs. No, we don’t all just want to give away our stuff, because we want to “help people.”  No, we don’t suck at sales & marketing. And no, we’re not a bunch of hooligans running around without experience, training, ethics, or credentials. Word.

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