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Live Huge Links – 02.01.13

February 1, 2013
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[Every Friday on the Life De-Constructed blog, I share my favorite links from my virtual travels during the week. This is my way of giving love and a holla to the people who are living huge in their own lives…and transforming world.]

 

2013-02-02_1359768415Do You Hoard Your New Underwear?

I have a miserly nature; by spending out, I mean to stop hoarding, to trust in abundance.

I find myself saving things, even when it makes no sense. Right now I’m forcing myself to spend out by wearing my new underwear.

– Gretchen Rubin @ The Happiness Project

 

Paper Hearts Across America

Sending Paper Hearts to Newtown, Connecticut to raise awareness, discuss prevention, and help heal the community. Here are mine:

 

Stop Asking For Permission

You don’t need permission to live.

 The reality is that no one is going to come in and give you permission. The only person who can do that is you.

–  Harley Roxanne of HarleyRoxanne.com (via Paid to Exist)

 

How to Have a Year That Matters

Let’s cut the crap. Life is short, you have less time than you think, and there are no baby unicorns coming to save you. So rather than doling out craptastic advice to you about Making!! It!! To!! The!! Top!!™, let me humbly ask: do you want to have a year that matters…

– Umair Haque (via The HBR Blog Network)

What do you want this year? It’s not too late.

January 31, 2013
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MoreofLessofIt’s the last day of January. How are you doing on those 2013 resolutions goals? Still going strong? Given up? Forgot about them? Finished already? (If you are, then set a few more for the REST of the year!)

For those of you who are struggling, given up, or didn’t set any goals in the first place, this is for you.

Truthfully, I haven’t “officially” set my goals yet for the year. I have my top priorities, and I generally know what my goals are, but I haven’t gotten down to specifics yet. In goal-setting terms, they aren’t SMART. And if you’re at all like me, even once I do get to that point, they often get filed away in a folder on my computer or buried on my desk under a pile of stuff, and I don’t regularly assess where I’m at with completing them throughout the year. (Stop cringing all you Type-A goal-setter people. What can I say? I’m human…and life happens.)

Rather than putting a bunch of pressure on myself to have this tidy list of action-oriented/time-bound goals that I can check off—I’ll get there eventually, just not yet—I’ve found something else that works really well for me. It’s a More of/Less of list.

The mechanics of it are pretty straight-forward. Get out a sheet of paper, divide it into two columns, and write “I want More of in 2013” in the first column, and “I want Less of in 2013” in the second column. You could do this on the computer, but personally, I’m over creating spreadsheet trackers, and there is also something about the physicality of writing things down that I like. (I end up feeling more committed, because they get cemented it in my brain.)

Once you’ve got your template, start filling it in. What do you want more of this year? What do you want less of? That’s it. There are no other requirements. Make it long, make it short. Whatever. Give yourself the freedom to write down things that only make sense to you—for example, one of the things I wrote down on mine says, “crossing to the ditch; stooping”. I’m sure nobody else understands it, but I know exactly what it means. Make it yours; that is what’s important.

Your More of/Less of list is a list of goals in itself, but if you would like to take it further and set detailed, measurable/actionable/time-bound goals, this list serves as a great starting point. That’s what I’m going to do. My More of/Less of list is done, and when I get to writing my detailed goals in the next couple of weeks, I’ll have much less stress around the whole process.

I have a challenge for you today: create your list right now.

 
Jot down what you want more of and less of throughout the rest of 2013. I bet it will take less than 10 minutes. (Give yourself a chance! You already know what you want this year. I’m sure of it—you maybe just haven’t thought about it quite like this yet.) When you’re finished, hang it up somewhere you will see it every day, such as the refrigerator door or the bathroom mirror. And here’s the important part: Read it frequently, to see how you’re living into your More of’s and out of your Less of’s and to remind yourself of what you’re working to achieve. Not so hard to do when you see it every time you brush your teeth!

I’d love to hear how it goes for you. Feel free to check-in throughout the year via the comments or send me an email.

Enough. One Word 2013.

January 15, 2013

Teaser_Enough2013_400The Power of a Word

I believe in the importance of words. A single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the catalyst to amplifying your life. Living full out. Achieving your goals and dreams. Finding deep joy and fulfillment. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything…if you allow yourself to be open to the meaning and possibilities that one word can evoke.

A couple of years ago, I was introduced to the concept of choosing a word for myself each year—a one word “theme” to focus on, savor, reflect upon from different angles and perspectives, de-construct and create from as I go about my life each day of the year. It can be anything—any word—as long as it has personal meaning. I have loved on this idea for awhile now; however, I haven’t actually done anything about it. Until now. 2013.

This year, I am starting a new tradition, and I have chosen a word. My word is enough.

Actually, I can’t even say I chose this word. Rather, it reared its head up and challenged me to take it on. You see, in my quest to living huge, this word has become my biggest adversary. Within it, I consistently find the source of many of my fears and insecurities—particularly when it whispers (and shouts!) in my ear, “You are not enough.” And when it puts me in a vise grip of worry and anxiety caused by thoughts of not being good enough…or worthy enough…or thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or successful enough. It holds me back, and frankly, I’m tired of allowing it to run the show. It’s time to make peace with this word in my life. Permanently. My goal for 2013 is to wholeheartedly own this word and live from a place of knowing that I am enough.

 
Exciting News! A Year-Long Intensive

Enough is a word that speaks to me on a personal level, but my experience tells me I’m not alone in this. I know many of you have the same struggles I do, and enough speaks to you too. So instead of just making this my own personal project in 2013, I have decided to make this BIG and create something that you can be a part of with me. Together. Which, I’m completely over-the-moon about. ‘Cause there’s strength in numbers, you know.

[Commence drum roll and royal trumpeters…]

I am excited to announce and officially invite you to the launch of Enough – One Word 2013. This is a year-long intensive—created by yours truly—centered on discovering the truth about ourselves:

 Who we are is enough.

 
Throughout the year, we’ll explore enough from four major perspectives—

  • Physical “Perfection” (Am I thin/attractive/youthful/likeable enough?)
  • Worthiness (Am I valuable/deserving/loveable enough?)
  • Competence (Am I good/talented/skilled/smart enough?)
  • Significance (Am I important/successful/meaningful enough?)

(For more info, click here: One Word 2013.)

I’m not going to lie. It’s going to be work. And at times, it’s going to be gut-wrenching, soul-searching, shine-a-light-on-all-your-dark-crevasses hard work. But there will be fun times too. And it’ll all be oh-so-worth it. On 12/31/2013, you will look back at where you’ve come over the course of the year and realize that your life has changed (the ripple in the pond, remember?). You will be all the more living a huge, vibrant and deeply fulfilled life.

Please join me for in 2013. I would like nothing more. Truly. And guess what? Because I *heart* you all so much and want to ensure there are no barriers standing in the way of your participating, I’m bringing it to you absolutely gratis (it’s FREE!). All you have to do is visit my website at www.thelivehugefactor.com and sign up on the One Word 2013 page. (Registration is open all year, so don’t worry if you are a late-comer to the party.) That’s it. Easy-peasy. I only ask one thing—please share it with a friend or two who you think could also benefit from the Enough intensive.

Let’s do good HUGE work this year. Are you ready?

De-Construct This: Popcorn Brain and the Pick One Strategy

November 4, 2012

[Part of my mission here at Life De-Constructed is to break down the shit that gets in the way of living huge in our life. The “De-Construct This” posts are where I give insight and strategies for doing just that—usually inspired from the everyday, real-life happenings of yours truly.]

True confession: I’m an idea junkie.

I categorically and undeniably love them. They invigorate, delight, thrill, and fascinate me. Sometimes, they blow me away with their audacity. Ideas are the rocket fuel for my creativity, and if I could marry them … well I’d consider it anyway.

On any given day, I have tons of ideas. I don’t know an exact number, but it’s a lot. And having that many ideas in my brain—all fighting for space and attention—tends to cause an affliction I call popcorn brain.

Do you remember the old-fashioned way of making popcorn? A pot, oil, kernels … heat the oil in the skillet, add the kernels, and then POP! The kernels become stimulated, popping all over the place, and pretty soon the entire pot is full of fluffy, white, crunchy goodness. (Mmm, yummy. That kind of popcorn totally kicks microwave-popcorn’s ass. But I digress.)

Popcorn brain works kind of like that. The ideas are like the popcorn kernels, and when they get heated up (by some stellar brain-power I might add), they POP into an idea. Then more pop. And some more. And a few more after that. And every time an idea is popped in my brain, I get a jolt of energy—some sort of feel-good-stuff (dopamine maybe?) starts coursing through me, and I am MO-TI-VATED to get moving and start creating all kinds of new deliciousness in my life, my work, or whatever it is that is my latest muse.

Sounds good, right? Usually it is. Except when there are so many ideas firing away that I get over-stimulated and can’t focus on anything. That’s the affliction part. Maybe some of you can relate.

Over the course of my life, I’ve developed a coping mechanism for popcorn brain—which is basically just me getting the ideas out of my head. Whenever I have an idea, or cross paths with something brilliant out in the world that inspires me, I use whatever means is closest at hand to capture it: Post-It notes, my smartphone camera, the back of a piece of junk mail, an email to myself, repeating it over and over again hoping that it will somehow stick in my long-term memory … you get the idea.

Most days, this is enough. I’ve convinced myself that as long as I snag the really good ones, my brain can relax, and I can get back to manifesting these ideas into tangible things. Ah, yes. Productivity.

But sometimes this method doesn’t work … writing it down does not alleviate the popcorn brain symptoms, and I still have an unfocused, crazed energy that I can’t seem to corral. I have so many ideas, so many things to accomplish, not enough time, and I am totally overwhelmed with where to start. Eeek! Now what?!

Usually when this happens, I employ some kind of avoidance tactic in an effort to find a way to calm my brain. Most of the time it involves some kind of time-suck, mind-numbing activity that has absolutely nothing to do with anything I’d like to do or want to get done. (Trashy reality show marathon anyone? Any takers for a nap?)  Obviously, this doesn’t help anything. I know this. It’s merely a coping mechanism for my coping mechanism.

And it’s certainly not living huge in my life.

In recent weeks I have found myself swirling in this unfocused/crazed energy place a lot. And frankly, I am tired of my default response to it. So I have decided to kick my usual antics to the curb, and as of this week, I am undertaking a new strategy for times like this: it’s called Pick One. (Hat tip to my big sis for the help on this one.)

Pick One is entirely uncomplicated and is exactly what its name implies. All you do is pick one idea. Don’t try to prioritize or choose the perfect one … JUST PICK ONE! Pick an idea and focus solely on that one thing. Let the rest fall to the wayside (or, write them on a sticky note to remember later), and follow the one you chose to completion. Whatever completion may be—it may be a tangible thing or accomplishment, or it may be the idea fizzling out because you’ve discovered it’s not viable or what you actually want. And that’s okay. Just complete and move on to the next one. Pick another idea, repeat the process. And keep repeating, taking the ideas one at a time, until the popcorn brain subsides.

It will. I promise.

Kind of genius, huh? Okay, maybe for a lot of you it’s kind of the obvious answer. But for people like me, who get paralyzed by the overwhelm of too many ideas/choices/options (seriously, have you been down the toothpaste aisle recently?), Pick One works some brain drain-o magic by getting things moving and into action again.

Because, when you grab hold of one thing and focus your complete attention on it, you automatically plug-in to the present moment. Your awareness becomes centered on the here and now, and the only thing that needs attention is right in front of you. Taking action becomes easy, because you laser in on what can be done right now and channel your energy accordingly. Then, as you complete one thing—and a second, a third, and more—your brain starts to un-cramp, the idea vortex subsides, and you start to feel pretty good because you are making forward progress. In this case, slow and steady are the heroes of the day.

So the next time you find yourself in the throes of popcorn brain, take a deep breath and—

Just. Pick. One.

If you have any of your own suggestions on how to combat popcorn brain, leave them in the comments below. I’d love to hear them!

Love Note: Do Things Your Own Way

October 23, 2012